Why Does This Only Happen to Us?

“Why does this only happen to us?”

It is a common question, and one that has been brought to me more than once. Why do other people seem to have fewer struggles than we do? Why does it seem like their lives have fewer trials, while ours just keep coming?

Part of the problem is that we simply don't see the trials other people are facing. We see their lives from the outside, while we intimately experience our own. Their struggles are often hidden from us, while ours are impossible to escape. We may envy the easy lives of others, or we may see someone and say, "I’m glad I’m better off than him or her."

But there is another problem with this question... 
It is not how Jesus calls us to think about the trials we and others face.

Consider Peter in John 21. Jesus tells Peter that he will one day be led where he does not want to go—a statement John tells us signified the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Peter's response is striking. He immediately looks at John and asks, “Lord, what about this man?”

Jesus answers:

“If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (John 21:22, ESV)

In other words, Peter, don't worry about what trials John will face. You follow me.

Peter was being told that his path would include suffering and ultimately death. What about John? Jesus essentially says, That's not your concern.

And John's path was different. John was eventually exiled to the island of Patmos (Revelation 1:9), and we believe he outlived the other apostles. Imagine the difficulty of either path. One man faces martyrdom; another lives on and experiences the loss of those around him. Which would you choose?

The point is not that one trial is harder than another. The point is that both require the grace of God.

Lamentations 3 reminds us that God's mercies are new every morning. 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22–23)

 

Paul was reminded that God's grace was sufficient for him in his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). God gives His people what they need for the trials He brings them through.

Your trials are not my trials, and mine are not yours.

God does not give every Christian the same path. He does not grow every believer through the same circumstances. James tells us that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness, and that God uses these trials to mature us (James 1:2-4).

So the next time you are tempted to compare your life with someone else's, remember Jesus' words to Peter:

“What is that to you? You follow me!”

You don't know what trials God has appointed for another of His children. You cannot see the grace He is giving them to endure those trials. And you don't know what God is accomplishing through the trials He has appointed for you.

You might think you couldn't handle their life. You are right.

And they are not able to handle yours.

But that is precisely the point. God does not promise to give you grace for someone else's calling. He promises to give you grace for yours.

So don't spend your strength asking, “Why do they have it easier?”

Look to Christ and ask, “How can I faithfully follow You here?”

He knows the path.

And He will give you the grace to walk it.